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Estelle: 10 Ways a Man Kills the Mood

Uzo Oleh

Estelle is urging her fans to embrace their sexual side. And if you couldn’t tell by the video for her latest single, ‘Make Her Say (Beat It Up),’ off her upcoming album, ‘True Romance,’ she shows what real couples (including herself) like to do between the sheets — without all the filters, airbrushing and editing.

“I wanted people to be OK with being sexual, being human and being real,” the 34-year-old U.K. songstress tells The Boombox of her new project. “And they feel it, whether it’s in the bedroom or on terraces. I want you to feel comfortable in your skin. You don’t have to be made up for the guys all the time. Sometimes, that’s great, but other times, you just want to be no makeup and just shagging in the house.”

The Grammy Award-winning artist chose to go the raw route — no pun intended. “We wanted to do real sex. Remember ‘Real Sex,’ the [HBO] TV series in the mid ’90s to early 2000s? Yeah, it’s like that. So I wanted to show people’s real faces and in that real stage. It’s real human beings having sex. It’s so visceral. You hear it, and you see it in your head.”

Since she has such a strong urge to help others open up about their sexual desires, we couldn’t help but find out her own turn-ons and turn-offs in the bedroom. But before that pillow talk, Estelle provides more details on ‘True Romance,’ with sex only being one part of a bigger picture.

Jumping right back into the studio after the release of her ‘Love&Happiness’ series last year, Estelle collaborated with a number of songwriters and producers including longtime collaborator Keith Harris as well as J.U.S.T.I.C.E. League. “I started recording after my first album almost immediately,” she says. “It was a pretty intense album so I wanted to start write this album straight away because I was going through so many things where I just couldn’t [put it off]. It was a magic time.”

Estelle wrote five songs with each producer and selected tracks that she felt encompassed her feelings at this stage in her life. After all, she was inspired by one of her own long-term loves. This third album focuses on four topics: passion, courage, bulls–t and true romance. While it looks like the makings of a 12-step program, these are the stages she believes make up a real relationship.

“It’s about dealing with the things we go through in the in-between period,” Estelle explains. “Not being in a relationship, not breaking up but the moments in between where I’ve spent a lot more time in versus being happy or just breaking up with someone. What I was writing about was getting back into the world of resetting. Sometimes it was passion, and sometimes it was the most frustrating thing in the world. It was bulls—. So when I looked at everything, there were four things that this album’s about: passion, courage, bulls— and true romance. And you need those four things to be in a [relationship].”

Since sex is such an important aspect of any romance, Estelle gets very candid about her own experiences and admits what the no-nos are when it comes to getting cozy with a guy. Check out 10 Ways a Man Kills the Mood According to Estelle. Pay attention, fellas.


You’re Just Not Fresh, Not Clean


“Bad smells are terrible. Bad hygiene. Brush teeth. Keep clean. Pay attention. You need to keep clean. Don’t come for a kiss with bad breath. Don’t come at me with body odor unless we’ve been together, and I’m cool with your body odor.”


You Play Estelle Classics


“Putting on my music, that’s another thing. No, don’t put on my song. I just can’t… Jesus lord. I think they feeling like they’re impressing you because they want to show how much of a fan they are and how much they like you. But no, no, I don’t want to hear myself singing while we’re sexing. So weird!”


You Enjoy Tongue-in-Ear Action


“Not in the ear. The tongue in the ear part, no! That’s strange. That’s like a Wet Willie.”


You Can’t Let Go of a Threesome


“I’ve had guys where I’m kissing on them, and we’re halfway through and they ask to bring someone else in. And I’m like, ‘We’re halfway through. Are you going to pull someone out the covers?’ Then I’m like, ‘I’m about to leave.'”


Your Phone Is Louder Than You


“When his phone starts ringing in the middle of sex, that’s a whole other thing. Turn your phone off. Put it on silent. Turn the screen down. I don’t want to hear or see or know anyone calling you during in the middle of what we’re doing.”


You Need a Bathroom Break


“When he needs to go to the bathroom while you’re in the middle of it, that might kill the mood, too. I wouldn’t know what to do after that.”


You’re a Poking Bandit


“When the guy starts pulling at my girly bumps [extra skin] like pulling at my hips and my waist and saying, ‘You could do something better with that belly. … It’s frustrating as hell when you’re getting into something, then the guy goes, ‘Oh, look at your belly [fat].’ What the hell!”


You Don’t Manscape


“I don’t really have an issue with body hair, but I have an issue with no maintenance of body hair. If you’re going to have body hair, that’s fine. I like the look of it. I like the feel of it. I just don’t want it to overcome your entire body. Maintain it the way they ask us to maintain ours.”


You’re a Sloppy Kisser


“Kissing is subjective. You can kind of control that. But as long as he doesn’t spit everywhere. I don’t want it to look like I just washed my face.”


You Don’t Wrap It Up


“When a guy doesn’t use a condom or use protection, he has to. Put one on! What’s wrong with you? That is a consistent… because people still think you can’t get anything. And with STDs, I don’t know who you slept with before me, so put one on before we sleep together.”

Watch Estelle’s ‘Make Her Say (Beat It Up)’ Video

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